Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
