HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
