the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
