It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
