i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize