38 yer olds are good kisserssss
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
