I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
zippers are such a cool invention
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Randomize
