his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
