did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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