I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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