Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
