I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
