Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
