That's intense
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
