i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
