Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
