Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
