You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
