we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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