whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize