i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
