OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
