Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
