Fuck appropriateness.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
