I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
