If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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