Do you still have your period?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
