Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
