I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize