This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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