if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
