I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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