Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
