Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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