its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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