i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
