You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
