unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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