accomplished twins. life is a go
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i believe in u and ur pee
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
