after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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