Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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