but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
