Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
