belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
