walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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