it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
