i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
