So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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