Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
