so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize