Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
