so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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