Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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