sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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