Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
