Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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