i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
