I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
