So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
