i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just had sex bonerless
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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