Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
