Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
