omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
