K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
