i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
