is your mom at the bar?
Soap is not a condiment
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize