I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This is the high leading the old right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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