Banned from zoo.
Again?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
